pace does not like new things--we have to introduce changes slowly with this little guy. we have had a little potty chair in the bathroom for over a year, just looking at it and sitting on it once or twice. i started gearing pace up for underwear a few weeks before his third birthday, saying when he was three he would be a big boy, and big boy three year-olds wear underwear and use the potty chair. i quizzed him every day, "pace, where does pee go?" and he would dutifully respond, "in potty chair, muh." putting it there was another matter...
i decided to take the die-hard route and simply put him in underwear and cross our fingers. i was armed with potty charts and stickers and treats and three extra pairs of underwear and pants. we stayed locked up inside the house for two days with the egg timer going off every 30 minutes, and making him drink water in between so his bladder would eventually have to use the potty chair. every time that darn timer went off, pace would whip his head around with a look of terror and start crying. despite the tears, screams, and "no potty chair, pee is off!" demands, i made him sit down and try to push out his pee. we sang songs, blew bubbles, read stories, etc. etc. i can't count how many times pace insisted his pee was off, and then 10 minutes later he'd wet himself clear down to his socks.
after three days and loads of laundry, i decided there was no point staying inside the house if he was going to have accidents--he could have accidents anywhere, and i had errands to run! i was just going to make the bathroom in any store we went into the first stop before shopping. i also decided i wasn't going to change him into dry clothes anymore. he would have to stay wet until the next time he went potty in the potty chair, and then he could get dry clothes on. i think the two stickers we put on his chart during week one were happenstance. one time we happened to catch his pee at home, and another one came from actually going at a store! pace peed his pants after we left costco, and i figured since we were already out, may as well keep going. we were leaving the other store when pace told me he was pushing out a stinky. so i said we were going to visit the potty chair right then and there, and he was going to have to do his business in the store. he was not happy to hear that at all! i sat him down on the toilet and told him to have at it--that i was not going to clean up an accident in the car. after lots of tears, telling me his stinky was off now, begging me to let him go on his "pace-size potty chair at home" instead of the big one at the store, he finally did it! we did a happy potty dance right there in the stall--i was so proud of him, and he was excited, too!
so it was very frustrating that after eight days (and a couple times sitting on the potty chair), pace was still having all accidents--more x's on his potty chart than stickers. turns out i just had to find the right punishment incentive. after day eight or nine, i was so frustrated i took all of pace's binkies away. i told him i was tired of accidents and he would have no more binkies as long as there were accidents. he woke up the next day a little teary-eyed, "i slept no binkies, muh?" i told him for every sticker he got on his potty chart, that would get him one binky back for sleeping. so we'd count the number of stickers on the chart for nap time, and then the total at the end of the day. to make sure he got it, i asked, "pace, if you go pee in the potty chair lots and lots, how many binkies can you have?" he grinned a huge grin and spread out both hands wide and said, "lots and lots binkies!" i then asked, "if you only have one sticker, how many binkies do you get?" "uhhh, just one." the results were almost instantaneous. i don't know if you can tell in the picture, but once we started winning back binkies, pace went from x's to stickers like a pro!--and we were both ecstatic!
so, today, four weeks after starting, i no longer set a timer, but i do consistently ask pace throughout the day if he has to go potty, as he doesn't initiate telling me he has to go. he still wears diapers for nap and bed time, although all last week i told him, "let's see if you can stay dry during your nap [or all night]", and he has!...so maybe i'll be brave enough to try underwear in the next week or so. he wears underwear to church! a few highlights from potty training:
- "sing two songs waiting my pee come out, get up?" pace is turning into a bargainer. his songs of choice are twinkle twinkle little star, mary had a little lamb, and "baby in tree ton" (rockabye baby). it is especially adorable to watch pace sing so earnestly all the verses of mary had a little lamb while we are in a store bathroom.
- i got out my little golden songbook i loved looking at when i was a kid. i think we sang every song in that book one day, waiting for pace to pee. every time we are upstairs now, we have to open that songbook to mary had a little lamb and start singing before he'll pee. i think it's kind of funny that mary had a little lamb has become pace's pavlov's bell...
- sometimes pace doesn't have to go pee, but tells me he has to just "push out quiet gas."
- we pray at night to help pace be a brave boy and use the potty chair.
- the day we instituted the binky buy back, i think he only went to the bathroom twice that whole day. he waited until i put a diaper on him for nap time, asked to make sure he was wearing a diaper, and then told me it was time for me to go (so he could pee in his diaper in private, i guess).
- max is always around, so if we are in the bathroom and pace is working on pushing out a stinky, max is curious and watches what is happening in the toilet. he is terrified of bowel movements. he runs away crying when pace is finished with his business. hopefully max isn't traumatized for his own potty training...
- pace gets to put one sticker for pee on the chart, and two stickers for stinky. he also gets a "stinky treat". i figure there's no use to giving a treat for pee, as he pees a lot during the day. but going stinky in the right place--that warrants a treat in my book. i found chocolate dipped oreos, individually wrapped in colorful aluminum foil so he could have fun picking a color and unwrapping it. he loves getting a "stinky treat".
- pace is a very good helper. last sunday david said, "pace, i have to go use the potty chair!" pace's face lit up and said, "daddy, i help you?" he followed david to the bathroom and started singing mary had a little lamb to help david.
- on a day of great frustration and lots and lots of wet underwear and pants and socks, i yelled, "pace, does pee go in your underwear?" he looked up at me and said, "shhh, muh, don't be trunchbull." trunchbull is the evil headmistress from roald dahl's matilda.
all in all, we are very proud of pace being a brave boy and we are so excited to see him grow up into a big boy! good job pace!
**update, 11/18: if i suggest sitting on the potty chair and pace actually has to go, he recognizes the feeling and is very excited to tell me, "muh, potty chair!" with a huge grin. he'll even make us go back to the activity we were doing in another room, so that he can be the one say he needs to go, rather than me being the one making the suggestion. fun fun!
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