diagnosis: rock crazy. onset: between day 3-5 of working hard manual rock labor. cause: long hours of lifting, shifting, wheelbarrowing, and all other verbage associated with moving thousands of pounds of rocks for a backyard hardscaping project. symptoms: donning highly fashionable work clothes, fatigue, running around and playing "gobble" on a newly-laid flagstone patio, fatigue, creating grand sweeping staircases, deliriously laughing at the slightest inclination of humor, including but not limited to excavator jokes, slow motion running man dancing, johnny cash lyrics, fatigue. prognosis: unknown. treatment: epsom salt bath soaks, oreos dipped in half-and-half, a very early bedtime, shirking all cleaning and chore related household duties (except dishes. we do have standards).
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