expect the unexpected

ba·by

   [bey-bee]  Show IPA noun, plural -bies,adjective, verb, -bied, -by·ing.

noun

1.

an infant or very young child.

2.

a newborn or very young animal.

3.

the youngest member of a family, group, etc.

4.

an immature or childish person.

5.

a human fetus.

just in case you need deciphering:  this is an ultrasound of coombs baby#2 at 8 weeks gestation.  the baby is the gummy bear-looking thing at the bottom right of the black oval in the upper left of the picture.  i am currently 16 weeks along and feel great.  i apparently don't get sick when i get pregnant, which would make some of you jealous, but let me remind you of the flip side--if you don't get sick, you gain more weight.  i don't know why it is such a struggle for some to get pregnant, and why it happens at the drop of a hat for others, but i do not take for granted the ease with which my body knows how to create this miracle.  david and i feel very blessed and we are very excited for this baby.  

i've been thinking about the first two months after having pace, and although this post maybe could have been written then, i think these reflections are hilarious...i hope you get a laugh out of them, too.  i remember loving everything about pace, but liking nothing about myself during those first two months.  let me preface the rest of this post by stating i do not suffer from depression, nor did i go through postpartum depression, or even the "baby blues".  i felt very emotionally stable the entire time (well, you know, as stable as one can be functioning on very little sleep); i had worked in pediatrics for five years, so i felt very prepared for the care and handling of a newborn, and knew exactly what to expect from the pediatric check ups, etc.; i was very content to stay at home with my baby--and yet...it was a transition!  i have a HUGE list of things that i simply did not expect.

i guess i am thinking about this topic because of the new little one we are going to welcome sometime the first week of june, and i'll be going through this process again.  maybe this time it won't be so bad because i know what to "expect"?...so here it goes:  expect the unexpected:  [WARNING:  there are Details with a capital "D" in the following list, so if you are not into Details, please feel free to skip to the next post.]

• i did not expect to labor for 35+ hours before meeting our baby.  i had zero complications or concerns during my pregnancy, and although s-u-p-e-r l-o-n-g and draining, zero complications during my labor.  every woman on the maternal side of my family had had very fast deliveries--between 5-7 hours, even on their first ones, so i totally expected i'd gotten that gene.  and i thought i'd had a pretty high threshold for pain.  i went to a prenatal class, practiced relaxation techniques and deep breathing, and planned on a "natural", drug-free birth...but let me tell you--there is only so much breathing you can do when you are in active labor (intense contractions every 60-90 seconds, lasting 60-90 seconds) for 30 hours before the hospital will even admit you because you aren't dilated to 4cm yet.  once i was finally admitted and got an epidural, i could relax, and i went from a 4 to a 10 within one hour.  pushing?  no sweat--30 minutes later we had a baby.
• i did not expect to leave the hospital 20 pounds lighter and still have 40 pounds to lose to get back to my pre-baby weight.  that's right, i put on 60 pounds.  i am not one of those girls who can wear cute maternity skinny jeans and leave the hospital in pre-baby clothes.  i couldn't even wear cute maternity skinny jeans 6 months later.  if anyone can explain this to me, please do.  i exercised during my pregnancy, ate the same foods and the same portion sizes as before i was pregnant--i did not proscribe to the whole "eating for two" philosophy (medically you only need an extra 300 calories a day, which is a piece of toast and a glass of milk, right?).  i was obviously retaining more water than i thought, because pace certainly did not weigh 20 pounds at birth, but still...
• i did not expect to wear my husband's clothes for 2 months because maternity clothes were too big, but my clothes were too small.  i felt embarrassed to go back to church until i could fit into a skirt, but david and i were still team-teaching gospel doctrine at the time, and david was tired of teaching isaiah all by himself.  so i went out to buy a couple church things for my new "shape"...8 weeks after pace was born and i had to squeeze into a size 14 (that was a shocker).  let me just tell you how jealous i am of all these girls that come back to church 4-6 weeks after having their baby wearing their pre-baby clothes.
• i did not expect to go from a size 6 to a size 10, even after working out for 2 hours a day, 5 days a week.  again, i gained double the weight i thought i would, but before getting pregnant, i had a pretty good work out routine and trained for triathlons, so i thought i'd bounce right back.  once i got the ok from the dr., i worked back up to a triathlon training schedule: i combined one of the following: running 3 miles; swimming 1600 meters; or spinning class with one of the following: strength training video (arms, legs, core, etc.); cardio tae-bo; or cardio yoga.  i couldn't lose those final 10 pounds.  after a year, i gave up and went through my closet to get rid of everything labeled "size 6" or "small".  i was not going to hang on to those clothes like some skinny shrine.  and if my body is seriously going to hold on to 10 pounds with each baby, i can guarantee this one will be our last biological child.    
• i did not expect to leak from places i didn't know i could leak from.  nursing was no problem--pace took to it naturally, and i'd basically turned into a cow.  but all the stuff that goes along with it?!  seriously?!  pads, new bras, new garments, new bust size, waking up feeling so refreshed after a full 5-6 hours of sleep, but everything up top soaked because you got a full 5-6 hours of sleep...oh--and don't forget to wear two sports bras when you work out!
• i did not expect it to take a full 2 months before i could sit comfortably.  i didn't need to carry around a donut to sit on, but...
• i did not expect the first intimate night after baby to be more painful than the wedding night.  i spent the night crying in the bathroom.  you kind of start running on auto-pilot, getting up to feed the baby every 2-3 hours all day and night long--you end up feeling sort of utilitarian.  so it's really disappointing when the night you try to feel a little more womanly ends up being so painful...that's all i'm going to say about that.
• i did not expect to feel so annoyed at david when, after waking up to nurse pace for the third or fourth time, he was still snoring, warm and snuggly in bed.  why would i wake up at the slightest rustle pace made in the pack-n-play next to our bed, but david slept away even when pace was screaming?!
• i did not expect to shower and brush my teeth at 4pm for pretty much the first month--and that was the earliest it was going to happen!  i don't know how some women go back to work after 6 weeks.

• HOWEVER, both david and i did not expect to feel such a strong impression that it was time for another baby so soon after having pace.  after having pace i remember thinking, 'this is not going to happen for at least another five years!'  someone told me not to worry, that i'd want more kids. i didn't believe her.  and here we are--ready to double our family.  one more makes four.