operator error

i got up thursday (my day off work) with a long list of to-dos.  i start the shower and after 5 minutes of running, there is still no steam.  i plunge my hand into the shower and pull it out again...ice cold.  i thought i'd give it 20-30 minutes for some hot water to kick in.  no go.  i call david:

"so, we don't have any hot water."

"yeah, i took a cold shower last night, but i thought it was because the washing machine and dishwasher were running at the same time."

"what do we do?"

"i don't know."

"is it the heater?"

"maybe."

"how do you fix a hot water heater?"

"i don't know."

"do you call HVAC?  a plumber?"

"i don't know."

"ok....i guess i'll take care of it."

i am frustrated that now, in addition to my list of stuff to get done that day, i have to also add hot water heater to the list.  i think, 'should we own a home if we don't know how to fix it?...this is ridiculous!'  david calls a few minutes later and suggests i look at the pilot light.  it's out.  i read the directions on how to re-light it:

step 1.  turn everything off and make sure the tank is full of water and the lines are flushed of gas.

i am already envisioning the house (and myself) exploding whilst i attempt to light the darn thing.  wait a minute--i have a dad who is a professional home inspector!  he can fix anything!...or at least be a witness via the phone in case everything goes south...

i call my dad and he first refers me to 4c.29 of his book (the section on water heaters).  i see a page with diagrams and plumbing parts i know nothing about.  he asks me if i have a sediment trap, like the one in the diagram.  i love how every single pipe looks exactly alike...

after we confirm all the parts are in place, he walks me through the steps to re-light the pilot, assuring me the whole way he will call utah's 911 line directly if he hears any sort of explosion.  i try to light the pilot at least 50 times and see no spark to speak of and no flame to speak of.  my dad tells me to call our builder.  i do, and the builder says he'll send the plumber right out.  

two hours later, david comes home for a lunch break and also tries to light the pilot without success. 

three hours after that (about 430pm), the plumber still hasn't shown up.  i call our builder back and get his voicemail right away.  "hi, builder, it's me again at _______...i know i told you before our pilot light was out on the heater, but i don't know if i was clear: we have zero hot water.  i am just wondering what the status is on your plumber coming by, and i'd like to know if we should plan on showering at the gym tomorrow, or if we can shower in our own home."  he calls me right back and says he's going out of town, but he gives me the plumber's name and number.  i call the plumber, and he says he'll be out in about an hour.  

when he shows up he lights the pilot in a matter of seconds...

i call my dad back and he says, "sounds like operator error to me!"

i took a hot bath that night.